Embarrassing/awkward

It’s weird, but a lot of times people will pop the question, “What is one of your most embarrassing or awkward moments?” as an ice-breaker question. First of all, if it was embarrassing to a bunch of people that I didn’t know or care about, why would I want to share it with another person I don’t know who is asking the question and wants a response face-to-face? Secondly, who asks that to someone who they really don’t know? If the conversation is filled with so much small talk that it ends up at this question, hang out with somebody else.
There should be an unwritten rule about asking this question. You shouldn’t ask it until you at least know where the person is from, or their major, or what they want to do with their life. Upon asking it, if they feel comfortable enough to answer, ask for their social security number as well. I dunno, it’s at least worth a try…
In any case, I have thought of some random “embarrassing”, awkward, or at least unsettling experiences I have had, or think most people have, that you might be able to say in such an instance where you have to give an embarrassing moment and too much personal information isn’t divulged. At least for me this is the case:

- Walking up to the podium in front of a large crowd (i.e. sacrament meeting or big dinner party where hundreds of people are looking at you at the same time.
- Peeing shoulder to shoulder in a public restroom with another man
- When you are by yourself walking across the street with a bunch of people in cars looking at you. (it might be just as awkward sometimes being the person in the car)
- Walking into an elevator when you don’t know anybody and you all stand in silence for several floors as the elevator creeps up…
- Twitching, snoring, screaming, or whatever when you are sleeping in class
- Drooling on yourself while sleeping in public
- Clogging the toilet when visiting a friend or neighbor
- Trying to be cautious when passing gas and trying to make it silent because you really have to go, and your plan fails…
- Dropping your tray at lunch
- Going to school with a black eye (people are going to ask and you don’t have a good story to tell them)
- Blowing a hole in your pants on stage
- Blowing a hole in your pants and go all day without realizing it until you get home and change
- Walking around with your zipper undone. (the problem is magnified when the shirt you have tucked in is sticking out)
- Smiling with something stuck in your teeth (only a good friend will tell you)
- Waving back to someone you think is waving at you, when, in fact, they are waving to the person behind you
- Showing up to an event either over-dressed or under-dressed in comparison to everyone else there who seemed to have got the memo…
- Passing out when giving blood
- Getting a physical…you know what part I’m talking about boys…(cough, cough)This problem is also made worse when it is a hot nurse/doctor checking doing the physical...
- When on a date you realize you don’t have your wallet or enough money to pay for the activity or food…

This is just a small list of things that can or have happened to me. Some I have only heard from other people and that is bad enough for me…if you have any other ideas, feel free to add to this list! So next time you get asked the question of embarrassing moments, you can have a quick lame response to kill the conversation again…

Words of Wisdom

Stupid is as stupid does...

- Forrest Gump

Feeling Bad about Feeling Bad

Why does it seem that being hurt, down, in pain, or whatever is frowned upon in our society? It's almost that you are not allowed to feel bad, because if you do, people start to wonder if you need professional help. For this reason, we sometimes beat ourselves up for feeling a little sad about a situation. Perhaps we think that we are being overly dramatic about what is happening in our lives at the moment. We seem to be in a society which thinks that such things should be completely done a way with. These bad feelings are hindering our happiness and we must get rid of them in order to enjoy life to the fullest. In an attempt to cure the problem, (and many times run away from the problem) we have created degrees, drugs, and numerous other methods to find a way to eradicate the hurts, pains, and depressions that everybody is subject to feel on this earth.

We are mortal people living in a temporal world that is not going to stop to help us feel better. As a matter of fact, many of the things that we experience in this life are so that we can understand the opposite. We could never experience joy if we never have gone through sadness. You could never really appreciate how spoiled you are in the United States until you see what it is like to live outside your comfortable lifestyle.

Understanding how opposition and “negative” experiences are not only a part of this life, but necessary for growth, progression, and understanding, why should we feel bad about feeling bad? The feelings that we have are real, and we do not have to get down on and beat ourselves up because we feel a little depressed or melodramatic. Sure we can try and run away from our experiences through drugs, both non-medical and prescribed, but where does that get us? Running away will just prolong the growing pains that prepare us for future events. Those who keep on running will one day find out they cannot run anymore. They will find themselves cornered against a wall with nowhere to go. The past will creep up on these cornered runners like a criminal. It will overshadow them like the darkness that swallows the sun’s rays at dusk. Such moments are where true hopelessness shows its ugly face, and every human will bow down and pray to God for the mercy they so desperately need.

So why feel bad about our bad feelings then? Instead of trying to eradicate this “negative” feelings and experiences, let us accept them. Accept that pain is a part of life, and learn from it. Don’t run away via drugs, video games, movies, idleness, sleeping, etc…The cure from “bad feelings” ultimately comes through faith, through the Gospel of Jesus Christ. Not from running away.

Undecided Indecisiveness

“What movie do you want to watch?” Sputters the young man trying to probe the mind of the girl on the couch who has decided to try and make the night as long as possible for this poor boy. “I don’t really care.” The young woman lies between her teeth waiting for the guy to fall into the pit he has been digging himself all night. Why do we do this to ourselves? We ask girls what movie they want to watch with full knowledge that their response will reflect their indecisiveness as a whole. I suppose that we really didn’t need to probe the mind of the young lady…deep down we knew that they would not know what they wanted to watch. As a matter of fact, women seem to not have been able to make up their minds for millennia, while us poor seemingly “weaker” sex has to pay the price for their indecisiveness.

Who is to blame for this plague that has changed the fate of nations? Do we really believe that girls are maliciously taught how to not think for themselves? I say we begin to stand up for women rights! We should not hold it against women that they can never make up their minds about anything. We should embrace their fickle decisions as a simple fact (and plague) of life; similar to how our bodies host a multitude of bacteria…we simply can’t live without them.

So what is to be done? What can us simple men do to reverse the undecided indecisiveness of women that has been etched into the very being of the sex? I repeat, we are only SIMPLE men who are trying to eek our way through a meager existence amidst a torment of women who are trying to figure out what they want. We create fictional characters such as superman to try and show women what kind of powers we would have to have in order to suppress this pandemonium of un-decisions made by women.

MEN…we need a better plan of action. I’ve heard that support groups help people cope with drug addiction and alcoholism. Perhaps we have been looking too deep for answers, we need to go back to the basics, re-group, find strength in numbers. We cannot allow women to divide and conquer, (an idea they very cleverly took from a man) United we MUST stand.

Patience: The Elusive Virtue

You find yourself standing in line. 3 months of anxious waiting has accumulated into a freight train in your nervous system barring down all barriers of control as you wait impatiently for the next few minutes to finally get to the end of the line and find relief. It’s like an uncontrollable urge to use the restroom that seems pretty easy to hold until you see the restroom at the end of the hallway. All ability to hold what is ailing you comes to naught as you sprint to the porcelain haven to relieve the aching extrudes that are fighting their way past you tensed muscles. You try and exercise patience during these moments, but, as was just illustrated, the level of intensity in seeking this relief can be so great that it is sometimes unbearable to contain yourself.

Inevitable during this wait in line you will express a small amount of your cumulative anxiety as you make the statement, “I wish this line would go a little faster.”

A supreme under expression of the torment you have put your mind through to keep your actions socially acceptable, yet, despite your efforts to remain as calm as possible, without fail, the audacity of some wise guy will feel it his duty to tell you how you should be more patient. This will most likely be expressed with the coined phrase, “Patience is a virtue…”

What does that mean anyway? Is this person referring to one of the cardinal virtues defined in scholasticism by men such as Peter Abelard: prudence, justice, fortitude, and temperance? Is it prudent then that I live my life according to the ancient theology of scholasticism and save my soul from a philosophical hell? Or perhaps this person is making reference to patience as a virtue by simply meaning it is something that reflects moral excellence or rectitude.

Regardless of the untimely remark of this inconsiderate person, perhaps there is some merit to what they are trying to teach. Is it as important to be patient in the end as it is in the beginning of all our experiences? During times of trial, is there a reason that we are urged to not only be patient, but to try and go about our lives doing “cheerfully…all things that lie in our power.”? (D&C 123:17)

Ugh! Why does patience have to be a virtue? Why must we be required to suffer so many injustices patiently? Why does it appear that all those who deal unjustly with situations seem to be the ones that are not suffering? Why do I always have to be the one to exercise this virtuous patience? Yet those who deal this injustice are those who seem happy and guilt free. As content as a little child who just got a piece of candy by pushing another kid into the ground and happily hums to himself as he skips over the crying child, all the while eating the sweet, sweet candy he unrightfully took.

I’m stuck in the middle of a line that isn’t moving forward! The longer I wait in that line, the further away the finish line seems to be. I swear I did what I was suppose to…why can’t I find relief? Where do I find the strength to exercise patience and temperance?

To be continued...